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Specifc
Examples of Mars & Venus at Work
Some
people initially say, “Gender differences are not a major factor in stress and
lost productivity at our company!”
Through
Research we
have found that
men
and women assume that since they use the same words and behaviors
they mean the same things. This
is not accurate. Here are a just few examples of the impact
of gender miscommunication on your company’s culture and bottom line.
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Non Verbal
communication does not always mean the same thing
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Before
the big meeting Tom is talking with colleague Judy about what
he wants to have happen at the meeting.
As he speaks she is nodding her head.
He assumes that she is agreeing with him.
At the meeting, Judy contradicts Tom on several points.
Tom is upset with Judy, because from his perspective she
has lied to him.
Kim
is trying to explain her ideas for the big project to Alex.
He listens. He
does not say anything. He does not nod his head at all. About half way through, she says, ”You obviously
are not interested in what I have to say.” She turns and walks away. Alex
is completely confused about what happened.
Men
nod their heads when they agree with you.
Women nod their heads to say,”
I’m listening…tell me more.”
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Men
and Women respond to Stress Differently
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The
deadline for the project is fast approaching.
There is too much work and not enough time. The manager Hank is ensconced in his office. If any one comes to talk he harshly says, “Leave
me alone! I am trying to finish this job!” He thinks, “If only
everyone did their job, I would not be so stressed.” Jennifer
feels overwhelmed with all of the tasks she is doing. She is completely
frustrated that Hank will not spend a few minutes to help direct
the project. If only Hank would come out and talk with everyone and calm the
troops. Although highly
competent, she thinks that perhaps this company is not the right
place for her since she cannot take the stress.
Under
stress Martians go into the “cave”.
They become too focused, more agitated,
and blame others,
Under
stress Venusians need to talk.
They become overwhelmed, need more
reassurance and doubt themselves.
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Leading
& selling
are different on
Mars & Venus
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A promising high tech company
was preparing to go public. They needed a known name to inspire
confidence in the management. The board favored Richard to become
president of the company. He had started, developed, and sold
a similar company with a personal profit to him of one hundred
million dollars. On Mars, and to the men on the board, his credentials
alone made him best for the job.
The
company was based on a product line developed by a woman scientist,
Linda, who was the CEO. It was her company.
The male members of the board were totally impressed by
his interview, but Linda would have nothing to do with him. During
his interview, she told him how their company was different and
that they had many unique challenges. Richard responded to her
sentences with confident comments like, “I understand that. We
can do this ...." He had complete confidence and a resume
to back it up. For every concern she expressed, he had an answer.
After fifteen minutes of his solutions, a wall went up inside
her. She rejected him for the job. All of the men and Richard were baffled.
Clarity,
confidence and focus on solutions are impressive to men, but frustrating
to women.
Listening and Acknowledging are impressive
to women, but wearisome to men.
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Men
and women have different primary needs.
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Sandy
has to make a big presentation to upper management.
It could be a big opportunity for her.
She is anxious. Tom
says to her, “You worry too much.
It will be fine!” She replies without enthusiasm,
“Thanks.” He walks away thinking that she is not much
of team player. She walks
away thinking that Tom is unsupportive.
John
is busy trying to fix the copier machine.
He is muttering under his breath. Alice walks by and notices
John struggling. She asks,
“Do you need some help?” He
says briskly, “ No I can handle it.”
She replies, “Well those things are really difficult.
Are you sure you do not want me to call the copier people?”.
He says gruffly, ” I said I got it!”
She walks away thinking he is a jerk.
He is annoyed with her because she thinks he’s incompetent.
Men
Respond to Encouragement.
Women Respond to Reassurance.
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